Delivery times are now back to normal, thank you for your patience. Every product you purchase from our Apothecary shop helps to change lives one story at a time.

Image of Human Phlegm bar, a green and white melon scented soap slice shown with a kraft paper label.
Image of Human Phlegm bar, a green and white melon scented soap slice shown without its kraft paper label.
Image of wrapped soap slice in kraft paper tied with red twine. Item shown as it would arrive once ordered.
Image shows kraft paper label for Human Phlegm bar, a melon scented soap slice. Label lists the faux ingredients and side effects.

Human Phlegm Soap

Regular price
Sale price
Quantity must be 1 or more

Creates a skin-deep ugly appearance after just one use! Having trouble sourcing lurgy-stricken humans to harvest your phlegm from? Let Grimm & Co take the hassle out of harvesting with this ready-prepared product. Packed full of the richest man-flu phlegm, this soap is the perfect antidote for those cursed with loveliness. Witches: combine Human Phlegm with our free-range Frog Spawn soap to make a highly effective face mask. Banish beauty in minutes and get back to your sickening self!

Notes for mortals:
Handmade soap bar with a melon scent.

x Man-flu phlegm
x Dead skin

Side Effects:
x Whinging
x Obsession with reality TV

Please note, potential side effects for this product could include whinging and horn growth. Part of our Soap & Gory range – because every creature has the right to remain ugly!

Spin to win Spinner icon